Moving…

The financial collapse here in New York has finally affected me…  My landlord is selling the apartment.  So for the third time in 28 months, I’ll be moving.  With any luck I’ll find a no-fee apartment, but not without a fair amount of frustration I expect. The Manhattan rental market is a beast like no other it seems.

1. It is fair game to completely misrepresent an apartment in the listings.  For example, a 2 bedroom listing is probably a 1 bedroom that they expect someone to live in the common room.  The brokers like to call these “flex 2″ or “convertible 2″ apartments.  Today a broker told me that the apartment had a “roomy” living space after the “flex” wall went up.  I pressed him further… 9ft x 9ft.  Ha!

2. A certain percentage of the listings are fake and just designed to get you to call the broker.

3. When you do go view an apartment the broker will tell you that you must make a split-second decision and that it will go THAT DAY!  They will throw in phrases like, “you are never going to find this much space at this low price”.

4. You can expect to pay first, last, security, and some type of fee.  So for your average overpriced 1 bedroom for $2500/month that would be $12,000 up front if you have a broker and $7,500 if you don’t.

5.  All right enough bitching.  I’ll find somewhere to live somehow.  As a parting feature I would like you to examine the floorplan below.  This is an apartment that is for sale (not rent) for $350,000 with a monthly maintenance fee of $780.   It appears that the shower is in the kitchen.  Hahahahahaa…..  Love it.