The State of Dating

With the ever-dreaded Valentine’s Day approaching, as well as the one year anniversary of being unceremoniously dumped via google talk on my blackberry at the start of my 8th consecutive overnight shift, I figured it was time to reassess my romantic life, or rather, complete lack there of. First, some statistics about the past year:

• First dates: 2
• First dates that could have ended after the first 15 mins: 2
• Second dates (that I never should have agreed to): 1
• Stood up: 3 times (twice by one person)
• Weddings attended solo: 3
• Guys given my number or email: 5
• Guys that called or emailed: 3
• Guys who called or emailed that I wanted to: 0
• Arranged meetings: 1
• Arranged meetings that amounted to anything: 0
• Setups: 0
• Parties or events attended in hopes of meeting people: 6
• Guys met at those events: 2
• Guys met at those events that had girlfriends: 2
• Boys kissed: 2
• Boys kissed at college reunion: 2
• Boys kissed not at college reunion: 0
• Winks or emails on match.com: hundreds
• Winks or emails on match.com from people who inspired me to actually pay money to join the site: 0
• Bizarre older men befriending me on facebook: 3
• Random guys my age befriending me on facebook: 5-8?
• Random guys my age befriending me on facebook and ever sending a personal message: 0
• Boys met online who I was interested in: 2
• Boys met online who deceived me: 1
• Boys met online who did not deceive me but showed no interest in person: 1
• Catcalls from construction workers: 2
• Men on the street telling me to “cheer up” or “smile sweetie”: 2

So as you can see, the state of dating is quite bleak. I was reading the ever insightful Gawker today and they linked to a Cosmo blog about a girl getting over a break up and dating again. After reading the linked post I thought maybe it would be interesting, or somehow useful, but quickly I realized the error of my ways. The third entry, three weeks after her “devastating” break up, she’s kissing a tall, handsome guy over the dinner table on their first date. So not helpful.

There’s that pathetic pacifying aphorism, oft quoted by married or otherwise coupled people, that “you meet someone when you stop looking for him” but part of me has to believe that you probably have to (a) actually go out or (b) put in some effort, in order for that to work. The new meeting place is the workplace if you believe the NYTimes, but my profession is 80% female and my workplace is ~20 employees. Being that everyone I know is in a couple and works too much, my situation seems dire.

Thus far in 2008 my action plan to fix this situation has amounted to what actually represents a backslide towards indefinite singledom: adopting a kitten.

I remember when I lived in Worcester and lamented my single status and the dearth of dateable people in Worcester, I dreamed about moving to Manhattan and finally having an enormous population of eminently dateable men. Right.