It’s a Wonderful Life

Harvard professor Tal Ben-Shahar was on the Daily Show this week promoting his book “Happier” – a book about positive psychology. Given that my psychology recently seems to suffer from a lack of positive, I was thinking of spending some of my newly earned over-minimum-wage dollars to procure it. My concern, though, outside of the mere fact of purchasing what the author calls an “unashamedly” self-help book, is that it would all be information I’ve read, heard, processed and discounted before.

A few months ago, in fact, I came across an article by productivity blogger John Wesley about five different ways to “build a wonderful life.”

1. Live Below Your Means
2. Put Your Money to Work
3. Educate Yourself
4. Develop Lasting Personal Relationships
5. Work Towards a Dream You’re Passionate About
6. Bonus: Stay in Shape

My sarcastic, defensive side says, “duh” to this list. It’s like when people reduce the obesity crisis in this country to a mathematical equation (calories in> calories out). Well yes, perhaps that’s the root of it, but does that simplification provide any helpful answers or solutions?

This list makes perfect sense to me. I’ve got the first half completely under control, it’s the latter three that pose a challenge. It’s not that I can’t understand that having “lasting personal relationships” would make me happier. Frankly, I wouldn’t say it’s that I haven’t tried either. Moving on from failure is really the challenge there. Can a book on positive psychology spend a lot of time on how to address failure? Can I be positive enough to absorb what’s being said? Can you be too un-positive for a book about positive thinking?

You can’t force lasting personal relationships – but you can allow yourself to be more open to them. With every failed relationship, disappointing encounter, or faded friendship it becomes a little harder to open up, a little easier to just close myself off. To not take risks. To not keep trying. In the game of risks and rewards, when you can’t see the prize, it’s harder to take the leap.

I’ll let you know what the professor has to say.